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Ask Roxanne!
Dear Roxanne,
I find myself working under the supervision of a less qualified, less knowledgeable individual than myself. To make matters worse, I had applied for the position and did not even get an interview. I have not had any unsatisfactory evaluations or disciplinary actions. I have a great deal of experience and a college degree and all qualifications for the job. Three or more times a day this person who is my superior calls me into her office to ask me for help on how to do her job. I oblige with a smile on my face—yet she gave me a “standard” on my yearly eval. My morale is spiraling down fast. HELP!
– Rebecca
Dear Rebecca,
I really do feel for you. It's always painful to be passed over for a position, but ten times more so when you have to watch the person who DID get the job in action—no matter how well they do. I have some hard-won advice for you in this week's column. I hope it's helpful!
– Roxanne
Do you have a question about how to handle a situation or a relationship in the workplace? Ask Roxanne!
Working Well in the Wake of Rejection
Imagine you were in a serious relationship. You thought you were headed for the altar. But suddenly your significant other proposes to someone else—and then the THREE of you live together after the wedding.
Hard to imagine? You bet it is. But that's roughly the situation for millions of workers who are passed over for promotions each year, only to continue working in the same department, often for the unworthy dweeb who actually got the job.
Okay, maybe he's NOT an unworthy dweeb. But it's the rare saint who could come to any other conclusion about the person who took the job that should have been "mine mine MINE!" It's natural to sink into a self-pitying funk and to beam that dark attitude into everyone you meet.
Natural it may be. But do yourself a favor and DON'T DO IT.
Easier said than done, I know. But if I'm correct in assuming you want a future with the company—and why else would you have applied for management?—then you need to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and nip the pity-party in the bud pronto.
Nothing will cling to you longer and harder than a reputation for being a poor loser or a whiner. Make an attitude check Job One, or your resentment is sure to come out sideways in a hundred ways. And that won’t serve YOU well
There will be other opportunities, you know, and if you keep doing great things, you WILL be recognized. Let HR know that you would like more responsibilities and take the initiative to learn new things quickly.
But the fastest way to be advanced is to go way beyond your job description. Be the light that shines so brightly that it can’t fail to be noticed.
Your Bright Light Initiative may very well start with you-know-who—the person who got "your" job. It's fairly standard to have to teach a new manager for a while as they don’t know how you do things. Hopefully they've been hired for their management abilities and skills at deploying people and processes to make things happen in faster and better ways. But you are the one with home field knowledge. Use it to show you're above resentment and endlessly valuable.
Good things always come to people who are doing the right things. Keep focused on being of massive value and the world will shower you with abundance.
Five Steps for a Quick Recovery from Being Passed Over
- DECIDE to shock those around you with your great attitude.
- Orient yourself forward to the next opportunity. There WILL be one, you know.
- Concentrate on going way beyond your job description.
- Be generous and helpful to the person who got the job.
- Continue building the skills that make you the best ROI imaginable.
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