Ask Roxanne!

Dear Roxanne,
I work in an office with multiple cubicles. Even fairly low-key employees can be heard when speaking on their phone or talking to others. One woman in the next cube talks loudly and incessantly. Three of us have purchased earphones attached to our radios to drown her out, but she doesn't catch the hint. We told our supervisor, but she seems to only want to avoid the situation. It's affecting my productivity AND my sanity! How can I handle this in a professional manner?

– Veronica S.

Dear Veronica,
If professionalism is what you're after, let me give you a tip:
NEVER expect a manager to handle what you can handle yourself. And Veronica—you can definitely handle this, and handle it professionally. (Tip #2: Hinting to the clueless doesn't work.) I've written this week's column to show you how. Be sure to let me know how it goes!

– Roxanne

Do you have a question about how to handle a situation or a relationship in the workplace? Ask Roxanne!

Tales of the Clueless—Dealing with Distractions in the Workplace

The guy who whistles show tunes all day. The gal who shares every detail of her love life for hours at a time. The cubicle neighbor who can't seem to find the volume knob—on her own MOUTH.

They don't mean to be annoying. In most cases, they don't even KNOW they are. But the day-in and day-out effect of distractions from clueless coworkers can take a very real toll on your productivity, your concentration, and your state of mind.

What's the best way to address this kind of workplace water torture?

I'll tell you what NOT to do. If it's in the category of cluelessness, don't bother your manager with it. It needs to be addressed, but this is a do-it-yourselfer, and you should never ask a manager to take care of something you can do yourself.

You can also forget about subtle hinting. If a person is oblivious enough to do these things in the first place, he or she is way too oblivious to catch a subtle hint.

The answer? Be direct. Calm and polite, yes, but crystal clear. Don't huff and puff and get angry—remember that there's seldom an intention to annoy. Instead, go to the oblivious offender and follow this formula:

"When you do (the observed behavior), it creates (the problem). I'm asking that you (discontinue behavior). Do I have your commitment?"

For example: If a coworker is always gabbing too loudly, say, "When you talk so loudly, it makes it hard for me to concentrate and I'm embarrassed when talking with clients because I can hardly hear them. I ask that you use your 'inside voice' and keep it low enough that the rest of us can get our work done productively. Do I have your commitment?"

In a case like this, she probably didn't even know she was creating a problem, so you may want to acknowledge that.

After your talk, she may forget when trying to tone it down. If she goes back to her "loud norm," simply bring it up again with a hand signal that reminds her of her commitment.

And...make sure the hand signal could be used in a church! Remember that she almost certainly means no harm, and you don't want to sow any unnecessary seeds of resentment—you just want a reasonable place to get your work done, and an ongoing feud won't get you that.

Tips for Dealing with Distracting Behaviors

1. Handle it yourself. Don't involve management unless you've exhausted all reasonable means on your own.
2. Be direct but calm. Remember that most annoying behaviors in the workplace are the product of cluelessness, not evil intent.
3. Secure a commitment to change the behavior. This is the step too often left out. Don't just talk to the person. Look him or her in the eye and ask for a promise and you're much more likely to see a change.
4. Follow through. If the person backslides, flash a (polite) reminder—with a smile!